On my own tonight as Jono away at Nathaniel's.
Feeling a bit sad actually, doesn't happen often but every now and again it creeps up on me out of the blue.
TV is boring even though we have just had Sky installed there still isn't anything I want to watch. So I have been listening to music on You Tube.
I can't believe that I was a carefree 16yr old out and about with friends never breaking the law but on the edge sometimes...and having no idea what the future held, just living for that day.
Just went up to the loo and caught sight of myself in the mirror..how can someone be reduced to looking like I do...it's so cruel. I look at photos of me not so long ago and it's like a different person I'm looking at.
Not really sure what I'm trying to say but thinking back to my teens/20's is making me sad, I still have most of my friends from back then and of course I now have a lovely little family, so nothing to be sad about really.
I hate this disease and all that it does to you..bloating/baldness/bad stomach/tiredness/breathlessness/dizzy/nausea/anger/short term memory loss/blurry eyes and inability to write neatly!...every medication I take has horrible side effects ...I wouldn't wish cancer on my worst enemy...it's vile!
Vile is the word. I so wish you weren't going through it. No wise words, but every sympathy and impressed at your ability to be positive and honest at the same time... Lots of Saturday night love from another home alone mummy...(the TV is SO rubbish!!! and then tomorrow it's Spooks AND Downton!!! At the same time!!! Grrr)
ReplyDeletelove, lots
Julia
(((Clare))). Not one of us knows what the future holds, but what you are going through is one of the cruelest things that can happen to anyone. I think of you every day and marvel at how you cope. But just wish so much that things were different for you. Much love as always xxx
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