OMG!!! - I think Jack has cracked being toilet trained -woohoo!!

We have had the odd accident since the weekend but that's ok. He went to pre-school Monday with a nappy on but playgroup Thurs without as I was with him so could keep tabs on him! Even did a trip to B & Q without any accidents so braved pre-school today with pants on and no accidents.

I know there will probably be more accidents to come but hey I think our boy has got the hang of it...so proud of him.

He's been promised a couple of Spiderman toys tomorrow for being so clever....

love Clare xx

7th Herceptin

Well it's getting boring now....it's like Groundhog Day, even get called in to start treatment at the same time each session...oh now hang on I think I was about 5mins later this week and a few different faces. I was sad about one thing - the nurse that did most of my chemo 2 yrs ago wasn't there and I asked if she had a day off and they said she'd left to work in Saudi - I was sad that I didn't get to say goodbye/good luck etc but they said she didn't tell any patients as it would have been too upsetting for everyone.

Said to the nurse that I feel so tired for the rest of the day and the following day and she said of course it's the piriton....very large dose is given to stop any allergic reactions. Good news is I can stop having it from next time as after 7 sessions they assume your not going to react - watch this space!!

Sorted out dates for treatment until July as I had to see if I could move my last one in June by 4 days and that's all sorted provided my Echo's come back ok.

I did ask what mine was last time and she said 55% (don't know what that means) but if it goes below 50 I may have to have a 3 week rest to allow the heart to repair itself - that would put a spanner in the works!!

Other things that are happening at the moment are the excitement of a new bathroom providing we can get the tiles we want in time it'll get started Mon 9th Feb - yippee.

Jon is going to do the kitchen so when that's finished it'll be sit back and enjoy the summer as a family without housey jobs hanging over us.

I'm so proud of Jack, just on the off chance I put him in pants on Saturday and that's what he's been wearing ever since (with the exception of pre-school and night time), he can pull down his trousers and pants and go himself and pull them up again. Poo's are done in the toilet not the potty so that's nice and he really seems to be getting the hang of it - hurrah!!

Will do an update on 'Pottygate' in a few days!

Have had my hair done today - lovely and light again, thought I fancied going darker a while back but I do really like it blonder - thanks Angela xx

One final thing - lost another lb at SW weigh-in so that's 3.5lbs so far - moving in the right direction.

love Clare xx

Hurrah, after 3 mths waiting for the good old NHS to get me a prosthesis they have finally phoned to say I can pick it up tomorrow!! I guess it has been there for ages as they take a week maximum to order just lack of communication somewhere along the line.

Was walking back from taking Jack to pre-school and thought I must phone to see when they can do a CT scan that I have to have in Feb....about 10mins after I got home the phone rang and it was the X-Ray dept ringing to make a scan appointment - how spooky!!

I have to go on Weds 25th Feb at 9.15am, so hopefully when I see consultant for my March appointment the results will be there - feel nervous thinking about it already!!

Tomorrow I'm back for another dose of Herceptin - great!!

love Clare xx

Just when I think things are going along nicely something pops up to disrupt my world....and makes me all sad again.

A young (34yrs) woman on the breast cancer forum that I belong to lost her fight against this terrible disease -it's made me very sad as she had an awful time from the time she was diagnosed -nothing worked for her, she endured treatments that made her so ill she had to stop them - she was hopeful to start a trial at the Royal Marsden later this month but didn't quite get there - RIP Jakki

My good friend Sharon also lost her Mum this morning and although she was in her early 80's and lately not of very good health it was still her Mum and she will miss her terribly. Sharon's heart is breaking - RIP Joyce

May Jakki and Joyce sleep well in heaven

love Clare xx

Took the plunge and joined a Slimming World class last week. I would like to lose nearly 2 stone and would like to have lost it yesterday!!

Had my first weigh-in this week and lost 1.5lbs...not much but better than putting it on!

There are a few reasons why I want to lose the weight and here they are....

• to be able to get into the clothes I have and not have to buy new ones
• to have a healthier BMI
• to look fab at the 'Pink Ball' in July and not to have to struggle to get a dress
• to have scope for putting some on if I have to have steroids again without looking too bad
• to have 4 pallbearers at my funeral...if you're fat you get 6...humungous and it's 8!!!!!

Jon will go mad when he reads the last one - it's just my sense of humour and said in jest!!

So if anyone see's me eating anything that looks like it's not on a diet menu give me a nudge and shout "Oi fatty remember you want 4 not 6!!"

Love Clare xx

So here we are...a day that in 2006, I wondered if I would ever see. Jack had his 1st day at pre-school and he loved it!

Went in at 9.30am and he just sat down with all the other children on the mats and didn't even bat an eyelid when I left!!

I managed to occupy myself at home (ironing/preparing dinner etc) and hoped that I wouldn't get a call to go and get him.

When I went in to pick him up he was sat on his chair waiting with all the others and gave me a huge smile when I walked in. He has a memories book that his 'key person' writes in and she wrote that he settled in straight away...(I didn't really have any doubts but you never know) and did lots of running around and joined in everything.

He's already asked to go back after lunch....he'll have to wait until Monday!!

So my little boy is not so little anymore...how time flys....

love Clare xx

Have had a nice easy week this week, just me and my cheeky little monkey.....He's been a joy this week and for some strange reason has started eating everything that's put in front of him....not turned his nose up at one meal this week....very odd!!

Maybe he's not so little, he starts pre-school tomorrow and I think he's looking forward to it. Every day he's asked if he can go to 'small school' and I keep saying on Friday and he just shrugs and says oh.

Not sure how I'll feel leaving him on his own. Obviously I leave him with Mum and Dad a lot but that's different. Have told him I'll be leaving him and he doesn't seem to mind, he just says "pick up at 12"!!

So need to get my act together tomorrow morning as I intend to walk there, it's not far through the back cycle pathway...Apart from the odd day here and there we've been able to get up, dressed and have breakfast at our leisure for well over a year.....

Might actually have to get the house looking tidy if I have spare time on my hands....

love Clare xx

6th Herceptin

Another dose of Herceptin today and all went well.

It was so busy in there as they missed a day last week and still had patients playing catch up.

I can't really complain about the wait as each time I have been called between 10 and 10.15, so that must be the earliest the drugs come up and someone is free to see to me. I was a tad embarrassed as they've had to 'up' my dose as at my last weigh-in I had gone over into the next dosage bracket....oh dear (but that is soon to be rectified!!)

I belong to a BC forum and today met one of the ladies from there as she was also having treatment today, we've never managed to meet before as our appointments seemed to miss by a few days each time but she was one of the 'catch-up' patients so emailed me to say she'd be there today. She is such a nice lady and without thinking I did say ..'Oh your avatar pic on the forum doesn't look like you at all'...she looks so much younger in the flesh.

I got really shall I say emotional (lip quivering type of thing) as a 'young' man (he was 40 so in my book that's young) struggled to walk to the seat next to me with a stick and his Mum holding him up..that didn't upset me as much as his poor Mum having to go through this with him...she sat away from him as we were tight for space and she just looked over now and again and you could see the sorrow in her face....so sad to see.

Got back to Mum and Dad's about 12.45, had some lunch and sat on the sofa nodding off...Dad insisted I went upstairs for a lay down and so I wasn't going to argue!! I slept for just over 2hrs and it was fab.

Feel really tired this evening and have had a dodgy stomach since teatime....it is a side effect but one that I've avoided so far!!

So 1/3 of the way through if they stick to the plan. I change to Tuesdays from 27th Jan. They write your name in a diary so they know who they have coming in and the nurse said ooh lucky you Tuesdays are nice and quiet....lovely.

love Clare xx

The 1st day of a New Year is nearly over....

New Years Eve was just perfect....

Jon and I went over to Wendy and Guy's for a meal, drinks and lots of laughter...mostly provided by Jon's constant squinting (he needs new glasses!!)

The meal was (as usual) lovely and we were treated to New Years Eve presents and lots of champagne - yummmmm

Poor Guy was full of cold but battled on regardless...

We played a game of girls verses boys trivial pursuit...the boys won!!

Midnight came and after lots of hugging, kissing and general 'loving' we all went outside to watch some fireworks.

Wendy's neighbour came in about 1am and we sat chatting and then all of a sudden I realised I'd had too much to drink...off to bed for me at 2am!!

Lovely nights sleep but woke feeling rather fragile and that continued most of the day...big roast at Mum and Dad's and then a snooze on their sofa whilst Jon went upstairs and had a snooze in the peace and quiet...well he was rather more fragile than me!!

I've made my mind up and am going to Slimming World classes starting next Tuesday...I have approx 2st to lose and want to do it this time and keep it off.

I don't really have any resolutions but will try hard at what ever I do this year.

So I intend to get through this year as healthily as I can and make it through to 2010...how scary does that sound??!! - not that I make it but 2010!!!

love Clare xx