What a difference a day makes..and an increase in meds..

Just by upping my steroids by 2mg I have had a fab day..only downside is I have to start re-taking Omeprazole for reflux and I'm sure they played a huge part in giving me dodgy bowels - ha ha I hear you say but it's not nice...at all!!

Went to Mum and Dad's for lunch with Judith and Gerry and then Tim and Victoria came, her engagement ring is lovely and wedding talk was so exciting.

Haven't fallen asleep at all today.

Watching a bit of TV and chilling tonight,

Love Clare xx

Horrible start to the day...sat on the edge of the bed for 30mins unable to function at all.

Luckily, Jon was off today and so I didn't have to rely on anyone else to take me in to hospital...frightened I would puke in the car!!

Went straight up to the ward and met up with my friend Charlotte.  She said straight away that I didn't look myself.  Felt so weak by the time I went in for treatment and Sandra (nurse) who saw to me was so concerned that she did full bloods.  At least 3 of the nurses thought I looked anaemic and would need a blood transfusion.

Had Herceptin and Zometa and then made my way down to clinic...they were running 2hrs late which was ok as I got there 30mins late .

Dr Charlton saw me and started by going through the bloods that were taken on the ward...nothing untoward there so no transfusion needed and then the scan results...

There are a few lymph nodes around my neck that have cancer in them but he's not concerned.  Lung looks inflamed but that has been put down to a blast of radio I had last year.  Liver had a tumour of 20mm now it has one of 38mm...BUT again he's not too concerned as in the whole scheme of things a golf ball size tumour in a large organ like the liver isn't going to be a nuisance immediately.

Head scan showed tumours have behaved how he would expect following radiotherapy..still there but shrunken...

I explained the lack of energy and that I just can't be bothered to do anything...he immediately suggested upping the steroids to 2mg a day from 1mg.

He had no idea why I was being sick and I think maybe I've admitted to myself I do get stressed over scan results after all.

Left there at 1pm and as we drove up the road had to stop for me to be sick again!!...Poor bloke walking passed didn't know what to do!!

Got in took an extra mg of steroid and what do you know feel ok this afternoon/evening.

He said that he knows how I feel about the bloatedness but at least I will feel ok.

There are 2 chemo's that he has in mind but both need to meet PCT guidelines and if they sanction one I will have to stop Herceptin and the other he wants to keep back for a while.

So all in all came out of there feeling 'ok' but know that we as a family have a 'fight' on our hands..small for now and hopefully it will remain like that for a while.

On a much happier note Tim (my nephew) and Victoria and getting married, most likely New Years Eve 2011...they have asked if Jack will be pageboy and of course I said yes...so excited.

Love Clare xx

Well, I bit the bullet and phoned my Breast Care Nurse this morning, to ask if I could be put in contact with a Macmillan Nurse.

Back in June when I was diagnosed with brain mets, they said I would benefit from one but nothing came of it.

I'm really struggling with energy levels as I've said before and need some advice on what if any supplements I can take.

The BCN said I sounded as if I would benefit from a palliative care nurse now and even if it's just to go through managing my expectations better.

The BCN used to be a palliative care nurse and she will try and come up to see me Friday when I'm at the hospital for treatment to have a chat.

So it wasn't a phone call I wanted to make but one I really had to.

Love Clare xx

I was supposed to be going up to London to see Thriller but pulled out on Friday as the thought of being up there and feeling crap filled me with dred.

As it turned out I made the right desision as Sunday wasn't a good day energy wise.  Went to Mum and Dad's for roast dinner and just about managed to eat it all.  Slept most of the afternoon in Dad's recliner!!

Today was much better, did a load of washing (bedding) and got that out and dried.  Got Jack's school shoes and some new trainers.  Had a wonder round The Range and came back for lunch.

Did a load of ironing and put it all away, so up to date with that.  Jon took Jack to Taekwando and I got us tea ready...bit of an effort but I managed it.

About 9pm I was so tired but now have a 2nd wind and after a shower feel refreshed again.

Tomorrow Jon is off again and will take me to Next/Matalan to get some bits and bobs.

So 4 more days until scan results and if I'm honest I'm a bit 'scared' of what it will show.  Not sure what will be plan of action...if tumours shrunk do I carry on as I am now?...or if worse will chemo be suggested?...we will see soon enough.

Love Clare xx

Haven't updated for a while as have been busy getting things sorted for Mandy etc to be able to stay and haven't been feeling like doing an update as I was so tired all the time.

Had a lovely weekend Michelle came over Saturday and Sunday which was nice.

Still feel tired and have the pain in my right side still, so bad over the weekend that I stayed in bed until lunchtime both Sat & Sun...seems to have calmed down now but is still there now and again.

Went to Drs today and he examined me but couldn't feel anything untoward, I said I have scan on Thursday so hopefully that will show what's going on in there.

Apart from a bit of painting, upstairs is finished, carpets and lino down and all looking very nice - who wants to stay??

Have a busy 2nd half of the week to come but next week not so busy.  Going to see Thriller on Sunday and really looking forward to it...just hope I feel OK.

Love Clare xx

Saw Dr C today and he passed my heart fit for treatment.

Explained head pain and he said to go back to taking 1mg of steroid and next week try reducing again if I get head  pain again increase by 0.5mg.

Told him about the pain in my side and he examined me for enlarged liver...he was happy that it wasn't BUT I fail to see how could feel anything beneath the flab!!...told him so and he said it was naughty Dr prescribing fat pills!!

Asked about the CT Scan and he said as both letters have the same appointment time and date assume they are doing all that he's requested if I get hassle insist and if still getting hassle get them to phone him..

Up on the ward at 10am really busy today so didn't get seen until 11.45am..home by 1.30pm though so not all bad.

Love Clare xx

Felt really 'odd' today.

Couldn't get started and laid in bed until 11.30am - disgraceful!

Head was a bit fuzzy and it was when I woke up so should have taken my tablets as soon as I woke at 7am...couldn't be bothered to go downstairs and get them.  Also have intermittent pain in my right side and lower back could be dehydration I suppose will make more of an effort to drink water throughout the day.  Other thing that springs to mind is 'liver probs'...I hope not!

Seeing Dr C on Friday so will tell him and see what makes of it, as well as yet again trying to sort out my scan on 18th Aug..original letter said chest/abdo/pelvis and to get there an hour before appt time to drink the drink!..Spoke to Dr C last time I was at hospital and said I thought he wanted my head scanned as well...he does so he sent a message/note to the scan department to tell them this...get a letter saying head scan on 18th no mention of chest/abdo/pelvis and no request to get there early..such hard work to keep up and I'm on the ball!!

If all else fails I'll get him to write a note on my letters and go to X-Ray on Friday to  try and sort it out.

Love Clare xx