Energy seems to be picking up which is great as we're going to Middlesbrough for a few days to see Jon's family.

I sometimes really don't think Jon gets how I feel.  When you're tired/no energy and just plain sick of feeling crap you are going to be snappy - but oh no I just told it must be PMT (which let's face it is one of the worst things you can tell a woman) - well shows how much he knows about the meds I'm on!

So in repayment for me snapping/daring to say something he didn't agree with on Sunday he's been lounging around in bed watching tv for 2 days...instead of having good quality time with Jack...Monday was lovely and they could have gone out.

I really dislike sulkers and he knows that which is why he's doing what he's doing...I just think it's a waste of time and days off.

Moan over - he really is a good hubby but every now and again he seems to forget that no matter how bad our situation is for him it's 100 times worse for me as I'm the one with the shitty disease and going through treatment with the knowledge that there is no cure!

Love Clare xx

5 days in and not doing too bad this cycle...so far.

Hands are sore but no where as near as bad as last cycle.

Right foot oedema seems to have calmed down a bit.

No acid reflux the tablets are working a treat...so nice to eat what I want without thinking I'll be uncomfortable later in the day.

Still feel so lethargic though and have been extremely lazy this week...driving to school there and back and basically lounging around with Jack in the afternoons.

I should be elated after Fridays results but feeling so low...as in health not spirit..hopefully I'll get to enjoy the good news once I start to feel better.

Clare xx

Results day.

...and it is good news:

All visible tumours that have previously been measured have shrinkage and the lump on my neck has shrunk. Dr C even said where I had the radiotherapy to my chest wall in Feb that has healed too.

He did say to keep an eye on my cough as there is inflammation in the upper left lung lobe and if I start to cough phlegm then I will need to contact him or my GP...at the moment it's just a dry cough - an irritating dry cough that seems to want to appear at 3am - grrr!

I did  tell him I get out of breath really easy these days but he wasn't too concerned - prob took one look at how much weight I'd put on and thought, no wonder love...you're huge!!

I showed him the pics of how bad my hands were and he's reduced the dosage slightly for the last two cycles.

I mentioned that the reflux had been really bad last cycle and that it ruined my intake of Champers at the weekend...he said that wouldn't do at all and has prescribed a daily tablet of Omeprazole.

So the plan is to have my last Taxotere on 5th Nov and then carry on with 3 weekly Herceptin.

I do like my consultant and trust what he says and suggests, I really think that helps as I never go home worrying if what treatment he's giving is the correct one.  All the chemo nurses think highly of him and I think that says volumes.

One of my Tuesday Herceptin buddies whose finished her course of treatment was there today to sign consent forms and have tests done for a years trial of a drug to take after Herceptin has finished.  The stats show Herceptin can reduce the risk of recurrence by 50% and with this new drug as well it adds another 10%.  

It's hard to get on trials as you have to fit the criteria - age/stage of treatment/type of breast cancer etc, so far she's the only one eligible at RBH.

So all in all a good day.

Clare xx

What a week.

Had a brilliant time at Centre Parcs, just relaxed and enjoyed the hot tub and a fab villa and extremely good company.

Loads of food and drink and so much laughter, just what the Dr ordered.

I was forced to watch XFactor but it was noticed that I was 'getting into it'...I wasn't honest!

Lots of Champagne was flowing but sadly I couldn't have as much as I wanted as my reflux was bad and so I had to make do with Gaviscon!!

Limo ride was shall we say an experience...after the (woman) driver had crunched the back end on a boulder we went on a high speed ride and all ended up feeling a bit dodgy!!

It didn't put us off the meal at Strada which was lovely and the manager there allowed us to have our own bottle of champagne opened.

Tuesday was Wendy's birthday and I went to help her celebrate at The Elephant in Pangbourne - lovely food and great company.

Wednesday was Jon's birthday and we managed to go out in the evening for an Indian.

So after a nice weekend away and a couple of birthday meals - back to reality.

Not looking forward to tomorrow as it's scan results day..not sure what I'm expecting Dr C to say but I just hope the chemo has shrunk the nasties. If not I will be intrigued to hear what his next step is.

Love Clare xx

Really looking forward to the weekend.

Going to Centre Parcs, Longleat to celebrate Wendy's 50th.

Looking forward to having a weekend away although I'm sure I'll miss Jack and Jon.

Weather looks like it's going to be good so I may have to revise what clothes I'm taking.

So a weekend of laughter, tears, eating, chatting, sitting in the hot tub drinking lots of Champers...

Just hope that I can handle the pace as have been feeling so tired.  Hands are much better and so I'll be able to go in the sauna/steamroom/hot tub.

Love Clare xx

So glad that the time between treatments this cycle is 4 weeks.

Hands are no longer bright red but now the skin is peeling off the back and finger tips.  Better be ok to have my nails done Thursday ready for my weekend away.

Don't feel so tired but ankles are swelling in the evenings.  eyes are still very watery but not as bad as last week.

Not long now and I should get my scan results when I go next, so will be asking what his plans are after chemo.

Love Clare xx