We knew this day would come, just not as quickly as it has, but I am a fighter and it won't beat me just yet.

Jono has been signed off until 26th Feb to sort out some care for me (with the district nurse), I really can't dress myself anymore, or cook, wash etc..real stinker here!

Gone is my appetite.  Cannot quite believe that, I love my food.

Not sure how many more entries I will do on here but will try and do it until I can't anymore.

Love Clare xx

Yay, managed it after booking in October, not knowing what I would be like yesterday.

Went to see Blood Brothers today at Woking New Theatre.

Brilliant show, just wish I'd seen it sooner, Maureen Nolan was excellent.

6 of us went all together and I was so disappointed not to have made Prezzos but was falling asleep by 9.30pm!

This morning they all came back here for coffee (stayed at Premier Inn central Reading) and we had a good natter.

Love Clare xx

Sunday got up early and managed to get top step of stairs and  then my right side went into spasms, Jono called my Dad and between then managed to get me down stairs after 45mins.

Stayed in bed most of the day which in hindsight prob wasn't a good idea.  I need to get up and enjoy the day out of bed!

Dr Shaw came out Tuesday and said that there is no way Jono should be at work he didn't sign him off sick but because of me, he needs to care for me at the moment and not be worrying about work.

My neighbour (thanks Anita) let me use her walk in, sit down shower bath, felt so good to feel fresh again.

Today, I met friends at Frankie & Benny's and just had a coffee with them.

Mandy, Mam and Megan arrived this afternoon and we've had a really good chat.

District nurse tomorrow, I hope to rest up a bit maybe just a push in wheelchair up to Asda.

Love Clare xx

Tuesday - I met Aisha from BCpals forum. We hit it off straight away and she'd brought both Jack and I some lovely gifts, some homemade.

Had a really good natter all afternoon.

Wednesday

10am and the hospital bed was delivered. Fits in where the dining table was so not really a hardship.

I had everyone round (or so it seemed)...MacNurse/occ therapist/community nurse. They are organising another stair rail for me, chair for lounge, bath seat, all other stuff I've been loaned.

Jack was besides himself when he saw that the bed went up and down.

Just some voile at the windows to shut the the light out.

Won't sleep downstairs just yet but it will be handy during the day.

Love Clare xx

Not a bad weekend all in all.

Jon took me to Curry's and 'made' me get an iPad2 - hee hee.

Was so tired though that I couldn't be bothered to take much interest in it.

Went to bed early (8.30pm).

Today my friend Diane popped in to see me which was lovely.

Ellen (MacNurse) came round to see me and talk through tablets/occupational therapist coming out/Dr from community hospital and we have accepted that we'll need a bed downstairs. Possibly in the dining end of the kitchen!!  Only thing is I have completely lost my appetite just look at food and feel ill.

So nice productive day in the form of medical stuff!

Went to bed this afternoon for a lovely lay down, very peaceful.

Love Clare xx

Knew I had to go to hospital at 11am but just couldn't get going after rubbish nights sleep. Jon took Jack to school.
Jon my wonderful hubby showered me as I just had no energy.
Kevin's Mum and Dad have loaned me a wheelchair which proved invaluable today, just sat there and got pushed (Little Britain - hee hee)

My consultant wasn't there (skiing - again).  Saw another man who was very thorough and said he'd put in for a  scan of neck/abdomen and pelvis.  The pain in my side may not be the liver but poss ribs so they will look at that.  He asked if I had lost appetite, well believe it or not I have!

He said was I taking the painkillers I told him only at night as they zonk me out but now Jack will be at breakfast club I can take them all day (well not ALL day).

Got home and only managed 3 cheese and biscuits for lunch.  Bed all afternoon pain killers and slept.  Now feel 99.9% better than this morning.

So upshot is:
CT scan hopefully within 2 weeks.
Ask Ellan (MacNurse) about pain relief (Oramorph type of liquid morphine - eek).
Next apt 10th Feb to get scan results.
District Nurse to see me 25th Jan - from GP surgery.
Next 'normal' treatment day (Herceptin/Zometa) on 20th Jan
Heart scan 3rd Feb

All go at RBH for me.

Love Clare xx

6.10am edged out of bed due to my weakness on right side.

Well, got the shock of my life, my right arm/hand/leg and all down my side started to spasm.  Jon called 999 as we didn't really know what to do. 

He took me to the toilet I completely forgot I had no feeling at all on the right side, upshot was I fell off the toilet and crashed to the floor.

Para medics came and sorted me out.  Taken to A&E and seen straight away.  CT scan done of head and they said tumour at base of neck was inflamed causing the numbness.

Had physiotherapist gave me the choice of coming home with frame/commode - which I actually don't need at the moment or they had a bed for me.  I opted to come home.

Feeling tired this morning as didn't sleep too well last night.

Love Clare xx

2012 and still here - lol

New Years Eve was a bit of a damp squib, Wendy, Jono & myself could hardly muster up any energy to celebrate.  However, Sunday evening was totally different.  Meal out with family, back to Nash for tea later. Wendy and I had a long chat about everything and I sorted some bits out for her Strawberry tea. 

Went over to Anita's for New Years drinks (pushed the boat out and had a Pepsi Max!) - thanks Anita food fab as always.

Since New Year I've not been too bad, realised now that since Jack broke up I've been non-stop doing things and I need to slow down.  Not sure I can go out in the evenings anymore as just so tired.

Hospital tomorrow to see Dr C about a CT scan sooner rather than later, if I wait until my next 'proper' appointment I won't get the results until approx end Feb.

Jono off tomorrow so he'll sort Jack out in the morning and I'll pace myself getting ready for 11.00am.

Nice quiet weekend head and not much planned for next week.  Need to recharge!

Appetite seems to have wained and lost 7lbs since Saturday just by eating so much less, not sure why so  will ask tomorrow.

Will blog again tomorrow to tell what Dr C said.

Love Clare xx