Monday 4th September 2006

Feeling much better now, antibiotics obviously worked well.Not looking forward to chemo on Friday (if I manage to have it).As the cycles have gone on my sense of smell has heightened, it only lasts until the Weds or Thurs after I have chemo. Now everytime I think of the chemo I shudder and gag.

My arms are achy due to the battering my veins have had..just 2 more to go and I know it is doing good but I'm now dreading it.

I'm also dreading not having surgery..that may not make sense but I want rid of what's there and fear that if they decide not to do surgery as the tumour has shrunk so much that it will be easier for it to come back.I

It's a standing joke in my family that when I read the local newspaper that my Mum and Dad get I always say "Right then who's died"..today I was round there said the same as usual and it was a 36 year old who died in the Duchess of Kent House (hospice near us for cancer patients)..I felt really sad as she had 2 young children.

I suppose I'm having a bit of a bad week as last week frightened me when I felt so bad...Can't be chirpy all the time I suppose .

love Clare xx