Wednesday 2nd July 2008

I think I am shock proof, nothing can shock or scare me anymore.

Went in to see the surgeon at 12noon and by 12.20pm the worst news had been confirmed.

The first thing the surgeon said was "you are a very complicated case".

I have two tumours in my left breast one a grade 2 and the other a 'naughty' grade 3.

They haven't got all results back yet so don't know if it's the same cancer as the one I already have or a different one..if it's HER2 positive I will have herceptin if it's HER2 negative I won't and if it's borderline it'll be 6-8 weeks before I find out!!! (I'm currently HER2 negative).

They didn't have the meeting yesterday to discuss my case but are scheduled to have it next Tuesday morning and the treatment plan could be as follows:

• Try chemo again, as last time I responded really well, this will be to try and shrink the tumours so that they can do a WLE (Wide Local Excision) if the chemo isn't successful then it'll be a mastectomy.
• or go straight in and do a mastectomy

My Oncologist will know whether or not it's worth doing chemo so it rests with him next Tuesday...I could be back on the chemo by end of next week.

The chemo will be Taxotare so yet again it will mean loss of hair and all the wonderfully awful side effects that go with taxols. Upside is that the tumours on the liver and lungs are not visible at all on the CT scan...which means they haven't gone but the cancer cells would be so few that they don't register.

I do however have something on my right ovary and they will book me an ultrasound of that..I suspect a cyst as I've always had ovarian cysts on my right side...surely it can't be anything more.

So by 10.30am next Tuesday I'll now what I'm doing this summer...

love Clare xx